nothing to do with carter...just me!

a few things i found out about being a new mom (that no one warns you about):

1.) YOU WORRY ABOUT EVERYTHING

i have always been a worry wart- i get it honest from my aunt amy (hi!). but now with carter, it is insane the things i worry about. the sun, is he too hot, too cold, is he comfortable, am i feeding him enough, does he need a bath, was that too much spit up, is he on schedule...the list goes on and one. but the one thing i find utterly terrifying is when he is sleeping. i find myself up all the time just checking on him- i put my hand on him to make sure he is breathing, i make sure his paci is close in case he wants it, i turn music on; the kid is seriously going to be sick of me before he turns one. well, maybe not; hopefully not. i promise myself i am not going to be one of those "overprotective" moms. i am already loosening up about how clean his paci is and clean hands...i just have to work on a few other things.

2.) YOU LOSE HAIR

not just normal hair loss that everyone has everyday but GLOBS and GLOBS of hair. i could have made 16 wigs by now...it is disgusting and so so annoying. therefore, this is what i think i am going to do:

do you think it will make me look like her?

3.) NO MATTER WHAT, YOU WILL NEVER THINK OF YOURSELF PRETTY AGAIN

let me be honest- i lost all my baby weight (plus some) before carter turned a month old. yes i am lucky as i know many women out there cannot do that, HOWEVER, nothing looks the same. my bellybutton is a mess, i still have that dark line done my belly, my stomach looks saggy, and lets not even talk about my boobs- ewww....

thats it for now...the list will go on...don't worry!

houston, we have a poo problem...

little c is clogged up...poor guy! i called the pedi and the nurse said to give him 3-4 ounces of juice and if he doesn't have is normal poo by friday they want to see him. i just have to watch for a hard belly and fever. this could explain how difficult it was to get him to sleep last night. until about midnight all he wanted to do was rock while i held him- i guess it must have felt nice on his belly or something. who knows- i'm not a baby whisperer! :)

so he had his juice in a bottle but first i wanted to put it in a sippy to see what would happen. the smart little guy snatched it right up and started sucking away! i ended up putting it in his bottle because i wanted to make sure he drank it all. i also made my first baby food today! peaches! yum- they smelled soooo good i about ate the puree myself!

i will keep you posted on the poo situation! baseball tourney starts tonight, hopefully bailey will get to pitch. a lot of people are coming to see him! then he is off to Holiday World on Friday- my wonderful aunts and uncles are taking him...they are so great!

where is my good napper?

carter used to be such a good napper. what on earth has happened? right now he is swinging and just talking away. before this started he would have already been asleep for about 45 mintues by now. he used to sleep anywhere from 2-3 hours in the morning...sunday and yesterday he slept one hour. it made for a very cranky baby and a very cranky mommy as well. that was the time when i got things accomplished- homework, housework, shower....so now i have no idea when to fit all this stuff in.

his sleeping has been wacky as well- he used to go down around 7:30-8 and sleep until 2ish-4ish and would then eat. then sleep until 7-7:30. well, the past 2 nights he has gone to bed at the same time but gotten up at 12:30 (i rocked him back to sleep) and then from then on it is just touch and go. he would fuss, sleep, rock, eat- and then sleep until 8am! he is throwing everything off and i have no clue why!

this is the one thing that stresses me out the most about having a baby....schedules! it seems like once you get into a routine something happens and everything gets thrown out of whack! i think its going to be a loooong week...

nothing else to report- baseball season ends this week (woohoo!) and i hope it is going to warm up soon so i can get carter in the pool! :)

a wedding story...

last night carter and i went to hailey's wedding reception. hailey used to be my step-sister...its still weird saying that because they all still feel like my family. i was welcomed by everyone with open arms last night and so was carter. it was really great. i ended up shipping carter home so i could enjoy myself a little more and catch up with everyone. at one point i found myself sitting at the table by myself watching hailey, lori, j.t., nancy, rachel...the whole clan up dancing and having a good time. then the waterworks hit me...i don't know if it was because hailey was married, if i was just lonely but at that moment i realized that even though they still feel like family; it isn't the same and never will be again. i used to picture hailey's wedding and lori's wedding- i would stand up beside them, fix their dresses, hold their bouquets but yet there i was- sitting at a table alone remembering what it was like growing up with them and very very sad that i can't share in this new chapter with hailey. we would be fun wives together and eventually fun mommies together. sometimes life just isn't very fair.

i have realized that i CAN NOT burn bridges with these people. i spent 10 years of my life with them...you can't just forget about 4 people that impacted your life so profoundly. i still love them all and always will. i miss them and am planning on keeping in better contact with all of them- especially hailey and lori.

the riley appointment

so today carter had his appointment with Dr. Meldrum- his pediatric urologist. for those of you that do now know about c's issues let me fill you in.

after he was born during his first physical by his pedi Dr. Blum she felt something on the left side of his belly. at that point she didn't know if it was merconium or not so she waited to say anything until his first well baby check that was later that week. after that visit she still felt it and said it was his kidney. so we had an ultrasound at the hospital and waited. the u/s was so terrifying for me. here i was- a new mom all of 4 days and my tiny baby is on a big table getting an u/s. dr. blum called us back and told us his left kidney was bigger than the right and it was something that had to be checked out by a specialist. they got us into Riley Childrens Hospital in indy and that is when we met Dr. Meldrum. there he had a VCUG to look for reflux (there wasn't any) and we now have to go back every 3-4 months for u/s to make sure the swelling doesn't get any larger. in march the swelling had grown.

so that brings us to now! his u/s showed the same thing today...not enough improvement to move us to 6 month visits so we go back in October. he will have an u/s done as well as a renal scan. during the renal scan they will fill his bladder via cath and give him an i.v. with a dye so we can watch his kidney fill and release. what she wants to achieve with this is to prove the kidney is funtioning properly so we can move visits to every 6 months. he will more than likey grow into this problem without it causing major issues and will be able to stop going all together around the age of 2 or 3. there is a very SLIGHT chance that if it doesn't correct itself by the time he is 2-3 years old surgery will have to take place.

this is all news that was expected- as long as my little man is doing okay then i am okay. he hasn't had any issues with infections so that is wonderful! if something like that was to happen we would have to go back before october.

other than that it was a pretty normal week! lots of baseball games, lunches, and quiet time at home. i had lunch with one of my best friends from high school and that was really nice. all in all it was a pretty great week!

and the worst mother of the year award goes to...

ME!!!!!

i locked Carter in the car at Dairy Queen. I think i had 4 nervous breakdowns in 5 minutes. I called Chad and told him he had to leave work and go home and get the extra keys. For some reason it never dawned on me to call 911. The manager of Dairy Queen (who is now my best friend) called the saftey officer and he was there in about 45 seconds because he was in the area. He had my doors open in 30 seconds. I think carter was in the car alone for about 4 minutes. He was just sitting in his carseat looking from left to right like..."Okay mom, come out now. I am all alone....Mom? Mom? Did you seriously leave me in the car?" He never cried and eventually started laughing at all the Dairy Queen employers that were making faces at them. In the mean time i was walking around thinking about how i am one of those mother's you see on t.v. neglecting their child. He is fine, i am fine...but i just seriously want to go throw up i am so disgusted with myself.

Happy Fathers Day

What a day! It started out with our regular trip to Mass at 8am. Carter was very good, as usual. Everyone at church is so impressed with how good he is. He usually sits or stands in my lap during the entire service. Sometimes he will fall asleep and sometimes he will start to get a little whiny towards the end. Today he did just that...he started to get a little cranky during communion but by the end song he was out. I told Chad I would take him to breakfast and to pick anywhere he wanted- he chose White Castle. Bless his heart- I was expecting to have to spend $30 of breakfast for us and it only ended up being $8!

So then we went home and messed around until we went to my dad's at noon. We had lunch there and the boys all played. Carter was very good and napped, ate, swung in the hammock and slept some more. It was a really nice day spent with my Dad. It made my day! We played cornhole and tried to keep up with my little brother, Nick. The poor kid was sick but still had the wittiest things to say and the biggest smiles to share.

Bailey left from there to go to the airport to pick up Chad's dad with Brenda and we left to go grocery shopping. Got that finished, went to my mom's for dinner, and came home. Carter was in a very grumpy mood. Poor guy...he was so tired and I really think his teeth are starting to bother him. He ate as soon as we got home and was asleep in about 10 mintues. Hopefully he stays that way until 7am....well, maybe 3am. Hopefully.....

Here are some pics from today!

My dad, me, my brother Nick, and Carter

Bailey and his hammock...he didn't know I caught him on camera! haha!

Me and my little brother Nick

HAPPY 5 MONTH BDAY!!!

I can't believe Carter is 5 months old today!! Holy moly! Was it really five months ago when he came into this world? Time has flown by. In a way I am so happy to see my little man happy, laughing and thriving in this world but I also miss the days when he was just a little baby.

Here is what he is doing now:

Rolling over (constantly)

Only waking once to eat at night- usually around 2:30 or 3

Eating rice cereal and oatmeal cereal for breakfast and dinner

Grabbing his feet

Putting everything in his mouth

Grabbing for toys, hair, glasses, necklaces, ANYTHING

Talking a lot more

Turns to the sound of his name or the sound of mine or Chad's voice

Carter at 6 days old:

Carter at 5 months old:

We have a roller!!!

After weeks of waiting and trying to make him roll over he finally did it! I confess- I missed the first two rolls thanks to dishes and cleaning up around the house but I caught the next ones! It was so sweet and made me want to cry because I know what is next- crawling. This is going way too fast- I still look at him like he is a little baby. I told Chad the other day that I can't remember what it is was like back in January and yesterday I realized that it is because I think we are still there. There is no way Carter is going to be 5 months old tomorrow....holy crap!

So for your viewing pleasure today here he is! My big boy! :)

and because this deserves a post of its own...

So...Carter and I were doing our morning routine. He had just had his morning nursing session and was in his jumparoo bouncing and laughing away. I made myself a bowl of Cheerios and was watching the Today Show. I kept looking over at him and smiling...and then i noticed something running down his legs...yes, it was poo. And a lot of it! I screamed and jumped up. Not quite knowing how to get him out with out poo getting all over me (did I mention it was all over our NEW carpet as well?). I ran to his room and wiped him off enough so he wouldn't get poo everywhere and laid him in his crib while i started a bath. Got him all spic and span and dressed- he was still not bothered by the trauma we had just gone thru...

Unfortunately, our new carpet is not so lucky. It is now poo stained. :( So sad...but so funny at the same time. Just one mommy moment I will never forget!

A kink in the schedule

I wonder all the time why it is that the minute we do something different Carter gets all out of whack. Last night I had to go to a baby shower. I stressed all day about how i was going to get him fed and in bed and still maintain his normal schedule. Well, I ended up having to feed him a little earlier than usual and then he was up way past his bedtime. He ate before bed but it was still a larger gap in between the 2 feedings. Apparently, he didn't like that. He was up at 2:30 and i went against the doctor rule of letting him CIO (cry it out) and fed him. I figured he was hungry- it wasn't his fault we had to go to a baby shower at 6:30pm on a Wednesday night. then he decided to get up at 5:00...WHAT?? So, tired me let him eat for a few minutes and he (and I) passed out in the chair. I put him back to bed and he didn't wake up until 8:20. Holy crap- now we are really out of whack.

So it will be interesting to see what the day brings...in the meantime here is a beautiful picture of him for your pleasure! :)

Please go here...

On the side of my blog i have a link to "matt, liz and madeline". This is a blog i was turned on to by someone on the nest. Matt and Madeline live in L.A. and the day after madeline was born Liz passed away. I read his blog everyday and then thank God that I have Chad in my life. It really puts a lot of things into perspective. If I am having a bad day or if Chad is on my last nerve I stop and think of Matt and Madeline.

So please read and keep them in your prayers.

My first blog

Well here i am! my first blog entry! I decided to start this mainly so my friends and relatives that i don't see everyday can stay in touch and see my family as it grows. Here is a quick update for those of you who need one :)

Chad and I were married on July 14, 2006. We started trying for a baby right away and I found out i was pregnant May 2007. After 9 long, tiring, fat months Carter Aidan arrived. He was born on January 14th at 3:13pm. He is wonderful. He is my life. He is absolutley perfect.

Here is a pic:

Please excuse the way I look- I just gave birth :)

So here I am- almost 5 months later. I just can't believe it has been that long. People always say to cherish the moments you have with your baby...and boy, is it true.

Stay tuned for more to come and thanks for reading! :)